Same day,totally different post...

So the other day my friend at work sent me a email about her friend who's little baby was sick and Roy city was doing this fundraiser to help . So I read it and thought it sounded way fun and I was stoked I could somehow help that sweet little girl and her amazing parents. Well yesterday I read a more recent email about how the family was forced to decide that their sweet little angel would be happier without the tubes and machines. I can't make it sound right, but you all know what I mean. That they had given their daughter everything they could and more, and the only thing that could help her was heaven! Anyways up until that time I had not looked at the blog, after that email I just had to. The blog is http://www.kendraandryanwebster.blogspot.com/. What I did was I started from the beginning of her blog which was over 2 years ago, I read all the way up until yesterday. Well let me tell ya reading 2 years of someones blogs you start to beleive that you know that person, like they are one of YOUR friends. As I read I went through this amazing girl's highest and lowest points of everyday life and expierences of her pregnancy. I read how completley excited she was, and saw all the cute things in the nursery. Then I read about when she had her little angel, and how perfect this child was. I am not a parent yet, but I imagine once I am that my thoughts will be similiar to hers. Thats when it hit home, her perfect little angel was diagnosed with a terminal disease called SMARDS at 4 months old. I read how these 2 amazing people learn to change their worlds upside down, to go from bathing her at home to in the hospital, from laying with her to not being able to hold her when they want, from parenting how they wished, to being told when and what and how they could do things with their own child. And most importantly how to put their selfishness of wanting her here with them so bad aside , and doing what is best for their daughter. I have now thought non-stop of this little family for days, I have been constantly praying , bawling my eyes out, reading and re reading the blog posts, staring into those pictures, being angry for them, wishing some miracle will happen. Basically I guess because I felt like I knew them it made me realize who's to say the same thing wont happen to me, or my best friend, or my sister. How do you decide something that huge, and it doesnt push you over the edge. I know God doesnt give you anything that you cant handle. But I dont think I could do it, of course they are being forced to but I just dont think I could. It made me realize how truely blessed I am, that I had never had to see a young sibling or relative hurt or really sick. My neice is 17 months old, I would die if she was not here, shoot I freak when she has a runny nose. I am not her parent, only her aunt. And our bond is pretty strong, but nothing comparable to a mother daughter bond. It makes me think everything I was stressed about, or sad about in the big picture doesnt mean crap. I was complaining about working 12 hrs yesterday. When someone I dont even know, but truely love was saying goodbye to their baby. How do you tell someone you dont know that you are so sad for them, that they are the strongest people you have ever known (read about), that you wish with all of your heart you could help in someway? I honestly hope that ,these amazing little mommy and daddy know they did what was best and is at peace with their decision. That they was blessed with such a precious angel that didnt have to stay on this evil earth very long , and that Kenzi knows how much her parents love her. I know I am rambling one side of me is saying how blessed and amazing her and the other side wants to scream and throw things for her. And for her husband who I know is going through the same pain, I am sure god only dealt them these cards because they are going to make it out of this as one and still in love. I dont know how many couples could do that. Sorry about my emotional rollercoaster post, I just dont know any better way to get all of that off my chest. God bless you Webster family, and Makenzie thank you for showing me strength thru a blog that a adult couldn't in person. You truely are an amazing little baby! And I too will think of you everytime I see a balloon, I will send some your way!! XOXOXOXO